Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Art and Discipline of Love

Since falling in love is biologically natural, but sustaining love is biologically unnatural, Soul Mate focuses on the art and discipline of sustaining love. You begin with learning how to appreciate your partner so specifically and frequently that your partner feels fully seen and loved. 

You then practice both the art and discipline of hearing your partner’s criticisms without becoming defensive. For example, so you don’t have to fear “walking on eggshells” before sharing a concern, your partner first learns how to prepare her or himself to emotionally associate your criticism with an opportunity to be more deeply loved. 

Soul Mate is designed as the next evolutionary shift beyond active listening. Active listening allowed the criticizer to feel heard, but failed to teach the person hearing the criticism how to emotionally associate the criticism with an opportunity to be more deeply loved. The problem? Unless the receiver of criticism feels safe the person sharing their concern cannot feel safe.

You will learn a series of practices you may integrate into your everyday life:

Six methods of sustaining a “conflict free zone” for 166 hours of your 168-hour week. 

A “Caring and Sharing Time” the remaining two hours by practicing six mindsets that allow you to not feel defensive when criticized. 

“Eight Wisdoms” as a foundation for deepening your love

The four “depleters of love,” aka the “Four C’s” (Criticisms, Complaints, Controlling, and Complacency)

How to use your new skills with your children, parents and colleagues at work.

How to use music and dancing to revitalize your love (to be practiced by dancing before each session)

To sustain your practice after the workshop, I invite you to multiple free, ongoing, group follow-up calls to resolve stumbling blocks. If you wish to review the insights and exercises at any time, you will also have the option of purchasing a Zoom version of the course. 

This workshop is for couples of all genders and sexual orientations.  Developed over the past 30 years, the workshop is also used by many health professionals in their work with clients and patients.

Recommended resources: Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Seven Secrets to Lifelong Love by Dr. Warren Farrell & Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say, pp. 1-87, by Dr. Warren Farrell; additional video content on warrenfarrell.com.