Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work

The Shame Triangle is an inner dynamic of parts that many of us carry without even realizing. It includes three primary roles: an Inner Critic that attacks, a Shame Part that absorbs the blow, and an Inner Escaper that tries to avoid pain while showing up in many forms: overfunctioning, perfectionism, and overachieving on one end, and dissociating, zoning out, using substances, or lashing out on the other. Together, these parts form a closed loop that keeps us stuck in survival strategies, disconnected from others and our deeper truth, and unable to fully access the Self.

Rooted in Internal Family Systems (IFS), narrative therapy, and the transformative power of Parts Work, this workshop guides participants to access Self-energy — the calm, clear presence within that can witness and transform our inner dynamics. We’ll explore how the Shame Triangle forms, how it functions internally, and how it is shaped by larger social, cultural, and intergenerational influences.

As the Shame Triangle softens, it gives rise to what we call the Inner Love Triangle, where the Inner Critic becomes an Inner Coach, Shame opens into Raw Experience, and the Escaper evolves into an Inner Nurturer — a dynamic grounded in support, truth, and clarity, where previously conflictual parts become powerful allies.

The workshop includes:

• Guided parts work. 
• Somatic practices and narrative inquiry.
• Relational exercises in pairs and small groups.
• Live demonstrations of working with parts.
• IFS sculpting, a dynamic group process similar to Family Constellations that makes internal parts visible and experiential.
• Legacy unburdening for the aspects of the Shame Triangle that are inherited rather than personally acquired.

Discover a clear map of how shame operates within, where it originates — both personally and collectively — and how to transform this inner structure to support lasting change and self-leadership.

Note: Familiarity with Internal Family Systems, parts work, or somatic practices is helpful but not required. Participants at all levels can find meaningful entry points into this work. Those currently in crisis, in early trauma recovery, or without access to adequate support are encouraged to consider whether the timing is right for this work

Recommended reading: Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work by Jessica Fern & David Cooley